Unapologetically Black & Blue

Posted by on Wednesday, Nov 18, 2015 in Blog, submission | 0 comments

Sometimes I hear profound things and think, “OMG somebody tweet that!” Like when I heard Christine, a reformed biker girl turn Christian blurt out, “Why is being a christian wife so much like being a patched old lady in a biker gang?”  Christine was at the wine bar in Grand Rapids where we held a Lime Green discussion. She used to be in a biker club, a “patched old lady” (never heard of that till now) but got saved and clean. But, much to her surprise, she found some similarities between what she “learned” as a biker chick and what the church taught about women. Here’s what she said.   There was a time in my life that I was a “patched old lady” in a biker club. It was a local club but think “Hell’s Angels” to get the picture. Being patched means that the women wore a cloth patch on the back of a leather vest that said “property of” on one patch and the man’s name on another patch. In between those, were the “colors”, or symbol, of that particular club, or gang. It was a status symbol in that the woman who wears that patch is of higher importance that the other girlfriends or the one night stands. It was viewed as a marriage. And, she is not only property of the man, she is property of the club and has to follow strict rules in the clubhouse and at events. After a few years, I got out of that lifestyle. I got clean, got sober, got saved and went to church. I grew fast and advanced into some great leadership positions in areas where I was gifted. I really loved being a leader and I was good at it. Then I got married. Slowly the leadership positions were taken away from me, they were replaced by being told where I should serve, or fill in, all making sure that none of those positions had a title that involved pastor, leader, or director. I was trying to learn to be submissive to my husband and the church and I was struggling and I was failing. Why would I allow this? How did I get into this position? I never stuck up for myself or what I thought the Bible said about it.. And I thought, why is being a christian wife so much like being a patched old lady in a biker gang?! This is not right! I felt just as stifled and suffocated as I did back in the biker days. Only this time I wasn’t high on drugs to mask the pain. I feel like I allowed my self to be put in that position....

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Sarah: Willing to Be Pimped Out

Posted by on Wednesday, Feb 5, 2014 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

There are times in our lives when we face choices and the choice is a “damned if you do and damned if you don’t” choice. In my post on “She was willing to prostitute herself,” we talked about how we are told to be like Sarah. (1 Peter 3) Usually what we hear about this passage is that it teaches women to submit to their husband’s leadership. However before we read any passage, we must ask: “What are we supposed to emulate from Sarah? Why did Sarah submit? What did it look like? What did she have to fear from her husband?”And why did Peter say, “You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do?” In order for us to find those answers, we have to go back and examine Sarah’s life story. We find her first in Genesis 12. And when we read her story, we became get a bit closer to what Peter meant by “do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.” 10At that time a severe famine struck the land of Canaan, forcing Abram, Sarai’s husband, to go down to Egypt, where he lived as a foreigner. 11 As he was approaching the border of Egypt, Abram said to his wife, Sarai, “Look, you are a very beautiful woman. 12 When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘this is his wife. Let’s kill him; then we can have her!’ 13 So please tell them you are my sister. Then they will spare my life and treat me well because of their interest in you.” 14 And sure enough, when Abram arrived in Egypt, everyone noticed Sarai’s beauty. 15 When the palace officials saw her, they sang her praises to Pharaoh, their king, and Sarai was taken into his palace.16 Then Pharaoh gave Abram many gifts because of her—sheep, goats, cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels. Genesis 12:10-20  So far in their marriage Abraham had been a man worthy of following, a faith-filled man. I believe if we studied his life, we’d find we could say of him what a friend said of Billy Graham, “I dearly love Billy Graham…for not disappointing me up close. Billy, you are better than your legend and bigger than your name.” But now, Abraham’s faith faltered. Sarah must have felt betrayed, disappointed, confused and fearful. Her husband had failed her. He husband’s faith had faltered them all. And yet she submits … Why? Well, because women are warriors (ezer kenego)– we will protect our loved ones at all cost, even cost to the self. Sarah loved Abraham and didn’t want him to die. She submits in order to literally save his life and also “save” his...

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She Was Willing To Prostitute Herself

Posted by on Saturday, Feb 1, 2014 in Blog | 0 comments

There is a part of our Christian faith where we tend to speak of things as either right and wrong or good and bad. It’s the modern world’s black and white world. But sometimes we face situations where the choice isn’t right or wrong but rather the choice is bad and bad. Neither choice is good. It’s damned if you do or damned if you don’t. Either way you choose it’s not going to be good. I’ve seen this in Africa where women have to prostitute them-selves, if they are going feed their kids, or “be moral” and let her kids die. We saw this during World War II, when mothers in England handed over babies knowing full well they might never see them again. If we are honest, there are times in our lives when we face choices where the choice is a “damned if you do and damned if you don’t” choice. Bare with me for a moment while I back up a minute – In 1 Peter 3 women are told to “be like Sarah.” The passage speaks of her calling Abraham “master “and submitting to him. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.” Usually what we hear about this passage is that it teaches women are to submit to their husband’s leadership. We are rarely told to call them master, but we are told to submit. When I read the passage, I ask: What are we supposed to emulate from Sarah? Why did Sarah submit? What did it look like? And why did Peter say, You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do?” In order for me to find those answers, I have to go back and examine Sarah’s life story. We find her first in Genesis 12. And when I read her story, I became enlightened to what Peter meant by “do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.” So to understand 1 Peter 3, we need to understand Genesis 12. Before we dive into Sarah’s life in Genesis 12, we have to understand the context for 1 Peter 3. Got it? Stay with me. 1 Peter 1:1 starts out by reminding the readers of that letter that they are strangers and aliens in their world, and as such, they are not to take their cue from the general culture as how to live. When referencing women, Peter challenged them to resist...

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Why I Don’t Agree With The Danvers Statement

Posted by on Thursday, Jan 23, 2014 in Blog | 2 comments

Below is an excerpt from the Danvers Statement. I have written in red in response to the areas of concern. The “Danvers Statement” summarizes the need for the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) and serves as an overview of our core beliefs. This statement was prepared by several evangelical leaders at a CBMW meeting in Danvers, Massachusetts, in December of 1987. It was first published in final form by the CBMW in Wheaton, Illinois in November of 1988. Rationale We have been moved in our purpose by the following contemporary developments, which we observe with deep concern: 1. The widespread uncertainty and confusion in our culture regarding the complementary differences between masculinity and femininity; 2. The tragic effects of this confusion in unraveling the fabric of marriage woven by God out of the beautiful and diverse strands of manhood and womanhood; The Industrial Revolution did more damage to the family structure than any other movement in the past century. However, what I read here is it is about role confusion. I would like to see statistics provided to support the statement. 3. The increasing promotion given to feminist egalitarianism with accompanying distortions or neglect of the glad harmony portrayed in Scripture between the loving, humble leadership of redeemed husbands and the intelligent, willing support of that leadership by redeemed wives; Really? Cause I would love for someone to show me “those glad harmony” marriages in the Scriptures? It is David and Bathsheba? Or perhaps Jacob and Rachel (and Leah) or maybe they are talking about Abraham and Sarah (Oh wait – he gave his wife over to Pharaoh) Ok, I could give you Ruth and Boaz except Ruth was not a “willing supporter” of Boaz leadership rather she was a woman who challenged his character, pushed him to go further by asking him to show hesed love (a love that goes beyond what’s expected by law or culture.) And from what I can see she pursued him. So again, where are those examples of loving, humble leadership by redeemed husbands and intelligent, willing supportive wives in Scripture? Perhaps we need to be careful with the words we use. Do we really want “Biblical marriages” meaning those seen in Scripture or do we want Christ-following kind of marriages? 4. The widespread ambivalence regarding the values of motherhood, vocational homemaking, and the many ministries historically performed by women; I agree, society at large seems to downplay the role of motherhood (except when football players give their mammas credit on national TV.) However, conservative evangelicals raise motherhood above all other calls. Motherhood is not an option for all women and being a homemaker (stay at home mom) is not an option for...

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