Alone to Known: Wine & Cheese

Posted by on Saturday, Apr 26, 2014 in Blog | 0 comments

I’ve shared with some of you how Steve and I were alone. How we realized we needed to initiate relationships and to do so we hosted a year-long series of wine and cheeses. Here is how we set those events up so we could move from aloneness to known ness. Here’s how Steve and I developed friendships through our “wine & cheese” nights. Wine and Cheese Set Up: Set up: Blind copy invites for several dates. Meaning: no one knows who is coming. First come first serve. Everyone is to bring a bottle of wine and a thing of cheese. 8-10 people Hostess provides the two fruit plates, two cracker plates. One on each end of the table so there isn’t much passing back and forth. We also offer some olives or nuts. Divide cheese into two sections placing each section on a plate. Then put one plate on one end of table, other on other end, then no passing. Hostess has a series of three questions. First is a light question, second deeper then third  deep. You can select from the list below or form your own questions. We try to keep the flow of questions similar. We hold to the time frame, 7-10. We close out at 10 so people who have to leave can and others can stay on if they would like. There’s always some who stay. Rules:  No sitting next to who you came with No church (little c) talk No politics One person is responsible for pouring wine (sits in middle of the table) It’s important that you create a relaxed atmosphere: get people helping with cheese and fruit in kitchen get folks helping to pour wine for those arriving do not allow people to sit before ALL have arrived use “childhood” questions to get people to share about where they come from build to more major questions end on time but make it is ok to stay later host sits in middle and pours wine for everyone Enjoy! Wine and cheese questions: Is it more important for communication to be real or kind? When you were young what did you want to be when you grew up? If you could add one amendment to the constitution what would it be? If you could have any view from your back porch what would it be? What’s the hardest thing you have ever done? How would our society be different if it were matriarchal instead of patriarchal? What life experience has strengthened you the most? Is it more difficult for you to speak kindly or honestly? What do you dislike most about your daily tasks? What daily tasks would you trade for? If you...

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Who Would You Blink In?

Posted by on Monday, Oct 14, 2013 in Blog | 0 comments

Several nights out of the week Steve and I gather with our friends to share a meal. Sometimes after dinner we sit outside, drink wine and discuss life stuff. Recently we’ve all been reading Falling Upward. It’s typical for sections of the book to be read by one person or another as we discuss our findings, thoughts, questions and ah ha moments. Steve and I love to share our lives with others around food, wine and conversation. And we love to ask thought-provoking questions to one another and our family group.  Last night several of us were discussing what we want to give ourselves to in our second half of life. What is important to us? Who do we want to do life with? Where do we want to do life? (Those kinds of things.) That conversation was followed up with asking, “If you could blink someone in to be here with us tonight who would it be?” Who would we want in this discussion with us? So let’s say last night you were sitting in our back yard and you were asked that question. Who would you blink in? And why? P.S. The one caveat is you have to know the person (or people) to some degree....

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Two Narratives: Romantic & Danger

Posted by on Thursday, Oct 18, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

Last night about 25 men and women came together to discuss whether not men and women can be friends? I was surprised that most of the people in the room believed it not only possible but important that men and women learn to have healthy platonic friendships. We talked about an article taken from Brennan’s books, Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions. He correct asserts we have only two narratives when talking about cross gendered relationships, romantic and danger. And, yes, we weren’t naive, we did acknowledge the sex thing can get in the way. But when examining Scriptures we found Christ called us to something beyond, a third narrative. Yes, there’s potential for brokenness and pain but with healthy boundaries (whether married or unmarried) platonic friendships are beneficial. Here’s what one woman shared. We have, as a culture, placed the marriage relationship, especially the aspect of sex in the marriage, above all others and demanded of it way more than it is capable or designed to deliver.  We have sabotaged marriages with unrealistic expectations.  We have isolated it as the only true means to relational satisfaction.  I believe that our deepest, God-given desire is for connection – deep connection with others.  When we limit our thinking of how that connection can be met/satisfied, we are crippling ourselves.  No one person can be the be all and end all of our needs.  Expanding our view of what intimacy is and embracing all of its options, opens us to a richer life.  It also smashes the myth that one must be married and sexually active to experience true oneness with another.  That’s just not true!  This idea that we can only experience true oneness through marriage and sex ticks me off because it excludes those who aren’t married.  I have experienced deep, true oneness with people other than my husband.  My friend Amy, we have experienced true oneness and still experience it.  I need – we all need – that oneness with others and it comes in many forms and ways. I agree. God have given us a third narrative, brother and sister. It’s how we will live together in the new heavens and new earth. Makes me think perhaps we should start learning how to live this narrative now as we enter into eternity....

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Salon: Starting Over and Stick Through

Posted by on Monday, Apr 23, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

Need to learn to trust again? Want to build long term friendships? Listen in.

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