Sometimes I hear profound things and think, “OMG somebody tweet that!” Like when I heard Christine, a reformed biker girl turn Christian blurt out, “Why is being a christian wife so much like being a patched old lady in a biker gang?”
Christine was at the wine bar in Grand Rapids where we held a Lime Green discussion. She used to be in a biker club, a “patched old lady” (never heard of that till now) but got saved and clean. But, much to her surprise, she found some similarities between what she “learned” as a biker chick and what the church taught about women. Here’s what she said.
There was a time in my life that I was a “patched old lady” in a biker club. It was a local club but think “Hell’s Angels” to get the picture. Being patched means that the women wore a cloth patch on the back of a leather vest that said “property of” on one patch and the man’s name on another patch. In between those, were the “colors”, or symbol, of that particular club, or gang. It was a status symbol in that the woman who wears that patch is of higher importance that the other girlfriends or the one night stands. It was viewed as a marriage. And, she is not only property of the man, she is property of the club and has to follow strict rules in the clubhouse and at events. After a few years, I got out of that lifestyle. I got clean, got sober, got saved and went to church. I grew fast and advanced into some great leadership positions in areas where I was gifted. I really loved being a leader and I was good at it.
Then I got married. Slowly the leadership positions were taken away from me, they were replaced by being told where I should serve, or fill in, all making sure that none of those positions had a title that involved pastor, leader, or director. I was trying to learn to be submissive to my husband and the church and I was struggling and I was failing. Why would I allow this? How did I get into this position? I never stuck up for myself or what I thought the Bible said about it.. And I thought, why is being a christian wife so much like being a patched old lady in a biker gang?! This is not right! I felt just as stifled and suffocated as I did back in the biker days. Only this time I wasn’t high on drugs to mask the pain. I feel like I allowed my self to be put in that position. I wanted to be the perfect Christian wife, so I relied on false perception and bad bible teaching to guide my ideas. What I know now, is that if I ever get married again, I won’t try to be a different person, a different version or a different color. I will be me; A strong, smart, independent, full of Jesus leader with the God given gifts of compassion and mercy.
Unapologetically Black and Blue.