I’ve been wondering what’s on young single (Christian) women’s minds. I wanted to know how they felt about marriage, work, gender issues, homosexuality, politics and their future dreams. I asked Stacey, a young professional woman living in Dallas to write a few blogs to help us know what’s on young women’s mind. (Part 1, tune in Thursday for Part 2).
I’d like to think that their questions are deeply influenced by being located in the still culturally distinct South, from which their experiences are derived. However, it doesn’t render the question any less impactful or soul-searching. The first time years ago was a fluke – a joke to tell others. The second and third instance made me question if I were behaving in some odd way. What else could have triggered these inquiries? I am referring to the “L” question – as in, “Are you a lesbian?” or “Are you even interested in guys?” This is most often followed by, “Then why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
Let me tell you, folks, this is a tough one. Initially it’s funny, then maddening. Apparently being picky (perhaps too much so), not wanting to date just to have something to do, and working long hours aren’t sufficient reasons. For what it’s worth, in all three instances, I was asked by men, including one whom I’ve made it clear to that we are only friends. It may be doubtful that this is a common occurrence for readers of the Marcella blog, but I believe there is at least one common denominator to this question that affects us all – identity.
Rather than basing my identity on some guy and/or kids, I resort to equally “bridge to nowhere” items, such as my appearance and work performance. It is the worst kind of rollercoaster, because there is a better way to live this life. Instead our identity is found in Christ, where we are unified: “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” As it pertains to my identity in Christ, I am nowhere near ready for solid foods (1 Corinthians 3:2). I need to claim this truth daily. Perhaps you should do the same, beginning with today.