I’ve shared with some of you how Steve and I were alone. How we realized we needed to initiate relationships and to do so we hosted a year-long series of wine and cheeses. Here is how we set those events up so we could move from aloneness to known ness.
Here’s how Steve and I developed friendships through our “wine & cheese” nights.
Wine and Cheese Set Up:
Set up: Blind copy invites for several dates. Meaning: no one knows who is coming. First come first serve. Everyone is to bring a bottle of wine and a thing of cheese. 8-10 people
Hostess provides the two fruit plates, two cracker plates. One on each end of the table so there isn’t much passing back and forth. We also offer some olives or nuts.
Divide cheese into two sections placing each section on a plate. Then put one plate on one end of table, other on other end, then no passing.
Hostess has a series of three questions. First is a light question, second deeper then third deep. You can select from the list below or form your own questions. We try to keep the flow of questions similar.
We hold to the time frame, 7-10. We close out at 10 so people who have to leave can and others can stay on if they would like. There’s always some who stay.
No sitting next to who you came with
No church (little c) talk
One person is responsible for pouring wine (sits in middle of the table)
It’s important that you create a relaxed atmosphere:
get people helping with cheese and fruit in kitchen
get folks helping to pour wine for those arriving
do not allow people to sit before ALL have arrived
use “childhood” questions to get people to share about where they come from
build to more major questions
end on time but make it is ok to stay later
host sits in middle and pours wine for everyone
Wine and cheese questions:
Is it more important for communication to be real or kind?
When you were young what did you want to be when you grew up?
If you could add one amendment to the constitution what would it be?
If you could have any view from your back porch what would it be?
What’s the hardest thing you have ever done?
How would our society be different if it were matriarchal instead of patriarchal?
What life experience has strengthened you the most?
Is it more difficult for you to speak kindly or honestly?
What do you dislike most about your daily tasks? What daily tasks
would you trade for?
If you could do any job for a year want would you do?
What did you get I to the most trouble for when you were young?
Where would you choose to live if you had to leave the country
What makes a house a home?
If you had a free card what would you do?
Stuck! When is a time in life when you have wanted to move forward but
felt like you were stuck?
The most disappointing time of your life?
You have 6 months to live. Who do you need to forgive bur have never gotten to
it? Who have you been waiting to hear I am sorry from?
Ever purchase something that you wish you hadn’t and it took you a
while to pay it off?
If you could snap your fingers and be somebody else who would you become? Why?
If you could get this fixed or better about yourself you could the do what for those who suffer?
You just won millions of dollars but it was conditioned on your settling something. What needs to be settled at home before you can get at it?
Where would you choose to live if you had to leave the country?
If you were going to die in two weeks who would you need to ask forgiveness?
If you were going to die in two weeks who would you need to forgive?
If you could take one person off the earth who would it be. Why?
May the journey of aloneness to known ness begin around the table.