For a while now I’ve heard it said, in a variety of different ways, that men aren’t as involved in the church as women.

I think there are multiple factors as to why men don’t attend church but one I haven’t heard said that needs to be considered is this:  The way boys are raised could make it hard for them to submit to another man, such as the man, Jesus Christ (and yes, I know he’s God too!)

And then…we also teach them that being in an intimate relationship with another man is homosexual…it’s bad. Right? The two things we say a boy shouldn’t be is…a sissy or gay. “Don’t be a sissy.” “Don’t be gay.”

Deborah Tannen, professor of sociolinguistics at Georgetown University, wrote a book about language and gender. Listen to what she said about boys and girls development. “Boys tend to play outside, in large groups that are hierarchically structured. Their groups have a leader who tells others what to do and how to do it, and resists doing what other boys propose. It is by giving orders and making them stick that high status is negotiated. Another way boys achieve status is to take center stage by telling stories and jokes and by side tracking or challenging the stories or jokes of others. . . . Finally, boys are frequently heard to boast of their skill and argue about who is best at what. Girls . . . play in small groups or in pairs; the center of a girl’s social life is a best friend. Within the group, intimacy is key: In their most frequent games, such as jump rope and hopscotch, everyone gets a turn. Many of their activities do not have winners and losers. Though some girls are certainly more skilled than others, girls are expected not to boast about it. . . . Girls don’t give orders; they express their preferences as suggestions.” (Tannen, 43–44).
Hey, I want you to be in love with another man, Jesus. You are to willingly submit, let him be the leader. Oh yeah, he’s gonna want to talk to you…A LOT…no, not about football or cars about deep intimate stuff inside you. I know I’m over exaggerating a bit but can you see where perhaps we’ve failed our boys/men? Now just follow me for a moment. Perhaps, one reason men struggle with bending their knee to Christ is because they have not been raised to “submit” to men. They are more apt to try to be the king of the pile. We tell our boys how to be masculine by our words and actions. We say things l