Last night 18 of us women gathered to talk about what it means to be a female sexual being. There was wine, chocolate and lot’s of honesty.
One area we felt we Christians need to be more honest about is when we say, “Wait for marriage. Sex in marriage is amazing.” I agree sex with in marriage has the best possible potential for long term sexual health but let’s be sure to say potential, not reality.
From what I can discern, God created us as sexual beings whether or not we engage in the act of sex. Fundamentally, being a sexual being, means we have an innate drive to move outside of self into otherness. It’s about community. The act of sex is an expression, not the only expression, an expression of one moving out of self into community in a very vulnerable way. Nakedness. It’s supposed to be an act of self, soul, body moving into full known ness and knowing with another. This kind of nakedness (whether it is physical, spiritual, emotional) occurs when there’s a safe, secure (committed no matter what) vulnerable environment. But we are broken people and marriage isn’t always a safe, secure, self-giving to another kind of place. This impacts the sex life, imagine!
Last night when I asked, “Why aren’t we honest about sex in marriage with young people?” there was a unanimous response, “FEAR.” We are afraid if we are honest about sex in marriage then our kids will engage in sex prior to marriage. I get it. But aren’t we Christians suppose to be driven by FAITH not FEAR?
We need a renewed vision on what it means to be sexual beings…what it means determines how we answer our questions about the act of sex.
If you want to have the conversation about female sexuality in your home with some friends just click here. Download the Salon Document, set a time, have food, drink and fun.
May God teach us,