I have to make a confession, my daughter is going to college and I’m worried. It’s not like me to worry. I didn’t worry when my boys went to college. But when it comes to my daughter, I know the statistics.
1 in 4
Koss, Gidycz & Wisniewski published a study in 1987 where they interviewed approximately 6,000 college students on 32 college campuses nationwide. They asked several questions covering a wide range of behaviors. From this study 15% of college women answered “yes” to questions about whether they experienced something that met the definition of rape. An additional 12% of women answered “yes” to questions about whether they experienced something that met the definition of attempted rape, thus the statistic One in Four.
During my eight years of church work I had the privilege (and heavy burden) of listening to women share their “one in four” stories, like:
-It was age forty before she finally told her secret. She had been raped in college.
-A woman shared how she was forced into the front seat of her car in a shopping mall parking lot and raped.
-A 17 year-old girl drank at her brother’s party. She passed out and was raped.
1 in 4 women are raped.
Did you know 50%- 60% of Christian men have looked at porn this past year?
Did you know adultery statistics have shown that about 50-60% of marriages in America have been affected by infidelity.
Did you know only 3.8% of the population is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender? Let me say that again…only 3.8%; that’s not a large percentage.
So I wonder, why do we Christians (and our churches) give so much energy, time, money and passion to the 3.8%? Why aren’t we talking as much about the 1 in 4 and the 50%-60%s?
It seems to me the only time we get real up in a bunch about sexual immorality is when we talk about homosexuality, and oh yeah, when we talk to teenagers about sex… “Don’t do it…stay pure, sex is good within marriage.” Personally, I think we should be honest and tell them sex within marriage “is complicated.”
I’m ready for us Christians to start talking about sex, sexuality and sexual immorality in broader terms. The statistics demand we pay attention to the large percentage of sexual immorality inside the church, sexual abuse, pornography and adultery.
Let’s not give all our energy to the 3.8% and start digging into God’s Word for a word about how we are to live as brothers and sisters, within marriage and outside of marriage. Let’s start exploring why God made us sexual beings? After all, we will live as sexual being in the new heavens and new earth (and we won’t be engaging in the act of sex, therefore it means something beyond the act of sex.) I believe we need to re-examine the Scriptures…ask new and different questions…questions that will help us unpack God’s intentions for our sexuality in the context of our human experience.
It’s time the church, you and me, start teaching and talking openly about sexuality and sexual immorality, not just the 3.8% but the 100% of us who struggle with sexual sin. Hopefully, as we unpack these truths we will start to move towards healing the brokenness that impacts us all from the distortion we have made of our sexuality.
Father, Son, Spirit, speak. We need a Word from YOU.